The Final Chapters of My Story: The Start of My Agony!
Typically, when I post on my blog I like to be honest but write about serious things that go on in my mind as a creative writer and a person. However, today I'm going to continue being honest but please don't take every word of this seriously. Have you ever worked on a project so diligently that you begin to feel that it's part of who you are? Or have you had a moment where everything is going so well that you become suspicious? I ask because this is my life as of lately. I've been working on a fourth novel recently and it's one that I think by the time it's gone through editing and I've come up with a cool cover, I'll be super proud of it! Currently, I'm at the edge of madness due to the last three chapters of this story. The last few chapters are going to be the end of my sanity and if that's not something all writers have in common then I don't know what is! I tried to write the ending of this novel about four months ago and it became tricky how I was going to do it and where my characters were going to be. So I took a deep breath and told myself to come back later and give it a whirl. I did just that. I took a week break to focus on other life matters then returned to the story. Nothing. Not a single word got written that day. Well, that's not entirely true. I wrote about two pages worth of material only to hate it and delete all of it. I kept calm and thought to myself that this is part of life and this is not the first time I've had writer's block, I've gotten through it once before and I could get through it again. I decided to set the story aside and try to gain inspiration. I did everything within my limitations to give me some sort of creative flow! As an introverted person, it can be difficult to find things to do in the outside world that don't make you want to roll your eyes, release a heavy sigh of disappointment, or wish for the universe to make you disappear. I forced myself out of the house with some friends. I planned a wonderful game night of fun that ended with everyone canceling or leaving early with the exception of my best friend. I went to theme parks and did all the rides so many times I could give you a detailed description of what to expect on said rides. I went to Starbucks where I sat in a corner sipping my sugary overpriced drink as giggling teenagers and stressed out business people came in and out the door. I went to the bookstore, the one place I find the most refuge in, and still came back with nothing! To say I've felt betrayed by my own self is an understatement. My point is that any story worth writing will be met with a challenge, but it's possible to work it out. I don't know how I'm going to write the last few chapters to where they need to be but I'm sure it'll get done in time. For now, I shall grasp the remaining parts of my sanity and go back to scribbling notes in my journals. For anyone else who loves writing and finds themselves struggling from time to time always remember you're not the only one. I see post from young writers every once in a while self-criticizing what they've written, that's okay to do as long as you aren't putting yourself down. It's okay to not know what direction to take your story in next and it's alright if you need a break from your writing to gather your thoughts. Everyone hits a roadblock at some point, it's about how you choose to handle it that matters at the end. Now, I'm going to go drink an unreasonable amount of caffeine and try again to figure out those last few chapters.
I hope everyone has a nice week! :)