The Hummingbird

Transformations in life are often uncomfortable. It does not matter whether an individual is welcoming change or pushing it away with disdain. Recently, I've felt many things to be grateful for and yet entirely annoyed by the way I can't seem to settle a strange jittery emotion in me. It didn't take me long to realize why this has been occurring. My life is taking another new journey on a quest that I simultaneously expected and didn't give much thought to at all.

My response to this transitional period of my life has been rather bizarre even to me. Emotionally, I am stable and functioning quite well, dare I say I may actually be happy! Mentally, my thoughts are reflecting like a prism of light from quartz, beautiful shades of color but incapable of remaining in a designated area. Spiritually, my inner peace has been consistent although there is that occasional stir provoked from my mind to find the answer to my inability to focus. Physically, I am out of alignment. I have been unable to sleep at night, unable to find my desire to eat, alternating between exhaustion and sparks of energy, and can visually see the exhaustion in my eyes.

Yet, I am not upset by this.

I'm fascinated by the ways people react and respond to transformational stages of life. Most people feel the emotional aspects, others the mental ones, some it arrives in their soul, and for others, it reveals itself in the physical body through aches, pains, and other methods. My thinking has been wrapped around this for almost two weeks now and I keep coming back to hummingbirds.

Now, I think it is only fair to mention that growing up I had no interest in birds. I found them a bit terrifying with how they swooped down from the sky, pecking and picking at whatever they desired before sailing away to their nest of twigs, leaves, and stolen goods. It wasn't until after my grandfather from my mother's side of the family passed away that my love for birds began. My grandfather, I called him Papa, was fond of birds. He enjoyed watching them, especially the smaller and delicate ones, so much so that he had bird feeders in his yard.

When he died I did what I often do in situations where people expect a strong emotional reaction, I gave a well-thought-out response with as much poise as I could muster. My coping mechanism in serious and sorrowful circumstances has always been to sweep aside my deeper emotions, think clearly of what I can and cannot do for others involved or for the matter at hand, and deal with the emotional pain later on, preferably alone. Is this the healthiest reaction? For a majority of people, no it is not. For me, it has been the only proper way (outside of writing) to handle these events without breaking down and giving up on hope.

It took me about a year to truly process that I had lost my Papa, a shorter time than it did for me to process my father's death, but still quite a bit of time. I began paying more attention to birds whenever I was outside. They no longer got my scrunched-up nose of distrust, but rather my soft smiles and idle chatter. We are on much better terms. A particular bird that keeps perching on the tendrils of my mind has been the Hummingbird. They've caught my attention in such a mysterious way. I think they perfectly symbolize what transformation feels like for not only me but for all of us. Hummingbirds have unusual behavior in the way they fly. They can hover for long periods of time, fly backwards, and have the most admirable ability to change direction instantly. We as people have tendencies to stay stuck in one place for longer than we should, fall into old habits and routines in need of comfort or self-sabotage, and yet we're still able to transform our paths in life. It doesn't happen immediately, it can't happen overnight, and sometimes it feels like it's time to give up but there are so many different paths in our lives that we have yet to explore.

I'm proud of the way I've been handling this current phase of my life. I haven't hovered and I haven't surprisingly gone backwards into self-sabotage or terrible habits. I'm changing direction and I'm enjoying the flight. I hope one day, all of us are able to be more like a Hummingbird. Unusual, unique, captivating, and capable.

You Deserve Acknowledgment.

Recently, I've been pondering why we as people tend to underestimate ourselves and fail to accept that we deserve acknowledgment. We have been conditioned to focus our mindset on how we can improve that we often lose track of the things we've already done. The messages and comments I have been receiving lately have been quite flattering and I do not take them for granted and I do not take them lightly. They mean a lot to me and they've helped me remember why I fell in love with the world of writing and creativity as a whole. While I can give you stories and pieces of entertainment, I wanted to also give you safe zones to express yourself and feel some comfort.

Please, take this as a reminder for the day.

You deserve acknowledgment for the wonderful accomplishments you have made. Whether you view them as small gestures or grand challenges you've overcome, you still deserve acknowledgment for it. Life is such a weird experience on a human level no matter where you're living in the world. It can become difficult to get through a day at a time so when you do, you should celebrate that victory. You made it through another day! Each of us needs to learn how and when to be gentle with ourselves, especially when discussing goals and motivations. You are the only person who can truly discover what you need to reach your own version of success. Everyone else in your life, including me, can only be supportive or perhaps give you some necessary pieces of advice and life tools for you to use in the ways best suitable for you.

I don't have a ton of answers and I'm taking things a step at a time as they come to me. However, I have experienced things in life that taught me harder lessons and forced me to mature at a pace that I often question if I was ready for. While I might not be able to always speak to each of you individually, I will always try my best to create different types of content for you that will bring comfort and hopefully help you get closer to discovering the essence of your being.

Thank you so much for trusting me with your messages, comments, and stories.

Thank you very much for reading anything I've posted.

Acknowledge yourself for all the good you have done in your life, the good you will do in your life, and know that you gave me a new experience that I will forever be grateful for having.

Stay safe. Be as healthy as you can. Be as kind as you can.

Much love,

Dasia Z.

Quick Thank You

Hi everyone,

I'm not here for anything particular today. I guess I wanted to write freely and say a thank you. I've been thinking about how incredible it is that we're in a world where connecting with someone in a completely different country is possible. The way we all seem to drop our cultural differences by bonding over writing, music, and other forms of entertainment and art. It's truly remarkable.

I made a small drabble a week ago and it climbed to 1k views a lot faster than I expected it to. It reminded me how fun it is to ramble with no direction from time to time. I love everything I've created and I hope I continue creating things that bring people comfort. When I'm writing a novel that I know will be making its way out into the world, I have to be aware of certain structures. For all the fun that is present in creating a story, it can often get blocked by the necessary steps taken to form that story into a physical novel. To be able to step away from that in these last few weeks was refreshing and fun.

In good news, the cover is almost done for the book! :D I'm so excited to start finally sharing the novel and getting into some conversations based on the story soon. It's been three years of hard work, a lot of healing, and a lot of waiting. Thank you for keeping your eye on me. Thank you for reading! Thank you for all the support.

I genuinely do want to spread love and comfort to others. I am super grateful and I will work harder in the future to make you proud.

Love you.

Love,

Dasia Zanders