Write What You Want

One of the reasons I'm always fascinated by my interactions with people has been with how diverse they can be. People who are true to themselves never remind me of other people. I like to believe I stay true to myself and part of that is admitting there are layers to my personality. I know people have made assumptions about my personality based off what they've seen on my social media or by the small interactions they've had with me face to face. Sometimes people base their opinion on me through my writing, they take what I've written and try to decode what parts are from my life story then they think that gives them enough to assume who I am and what I should be expected to write. That doesn't sit well with me sometimes because I believe in writing to express whatever needs to be let out of a person's system. I've always expressed my different interest in my clothing style, in my makeup, my post on social media, and especially in my writing. My stories aren't centered around what people expect me to write, they're written based off where I'm at in my life and how I'm feeling. My next novel isn't going to be a fantasy novel but that doesn't mean I might never write one again, it just means I have a topic or two in mind with a different approach than my previous work.

Over the weekend I was reminded that people have made assumptions about me despite trying to keep my reputation as clean as possible. People assume that because I've written books that I'm now a diva. I've been called spoiled on multiple occasions along with other colorful terms to describe me and that's okay with me, I can handle harsh words from time to time. However, I think it's important that I make this post because I know there are other people out in the world who are still learning how to handle hateful comments, especially when there are young writers posting fan fiction and other pieces of theirs for the world to see. To anyone who has been judged based off what you write or the amount of success your writing has gotten, please remember to write whatever you want. Don't write anything because it's what people expect from you and don't let hateful people bring you down. The moment you put yourself out to the world you have to know that you're opening yourself up to ugly company too but remember those people don't truly know you.

Write the stories you feel need to be told and do it because you love to do it.

Life Update: I Feel Adventurous.

The week right before spring break usually is full of exams, assignments, and other various projects that have me drinking way more coffee than should be allowed. There's a lot to get done in such a short amount of time but I like to believe I've formulated a schedule that accepts the tasks gracefully. While sitting in my developmental psychology lecture my professor mentioned how important it is for everyone to find time for the fun to avoid overworking themselves and my mind drifted down to my upcoming plans. One goal of mine for spring break is to complete the first draft of my new novel, currently, I have about twenty-three chapters done but I'm estimating it's going to take fifteen more before I call it finished. I'm a bit low on inspiration right now since my mind has been spinning with hard choices that only life can provide a person, but I'm anticipating this weekend to kick off a break filled with precious memories with the people who inspire me most. Maybe it's the fact that my birthday is in this month but I always feel a particular spark of joy and adventure in March. I'm thinking about posting life updates on this blog as I explore my days with both new friends and friends I've been with so long they're the equivalent of a family in my heart. Inspiration to write comes from so many different places but what guides me to pour my heart out on pages of papers comes from the inspiration life can give. This world is filled with a lot of beautiful people and places despite all the awful things we bare witness to on the daily basis. I feel adventurous and I'd love to share the most beautiful things that come out of that.

Rosalia vs. November

When looking back at the completion of my series I often find myself smirking at the parts that I know relate to my personal life. I've hinted that the next novel I would like to put out for everyone is rooted in reality with various topics involved, but it's become a form of therapy for me as I look back at how my depression has intertwined into who I am today and my writing. There's signs hidden in the Cassadine trilogy of the two opposing sides of my personalities in the forms of November and Rosalia. I've stated before that little bits of me live in all my characters and there isn't one specific character based entirely on myself, that statement still remains true. However, there are small sections of me living in Rosalia and November that reflect who I am when I'm not in a depressive state and who I am when I am in that place. Similar to Rosalia I can be funny, charming to those I meet, and believe in sharing as much of my love as I can to good people. It's during these times that I feel in exceptionally light moods with extra smiles directed at just about everyone I make contact with, it's a feeling of pride and accomplishment as well as pure joy. However, there are other parts of my personality that often stay buried in the privacy of my home only shared among with certain family members and close friends. Part of the reason I never came to form any sort of hatred toward November is because I understand her need to prove herself, her drive to protect whatever she thinks as hers even if she's acting on impulse to do it, and all of that built up anger comes from somewhere deeper than what she's willing to show people. For some clarification I would never harm people the way November does from time to time, but I empathize just as well with her as I have with other characters I've created. Whenever Rosalia and November would meet eye to eye there was enough tension between them that everyone could feel they didn't get along and it was better to keep them separated but I truly believe that had the two of them pushed aside their need to be the only one rightfully in power that they could have found a balancing harmony despite the two being centered in their emotional drives. They both have strong personalities and have proven they are more than capable of taking care of themselves; each having moments where they displayed their intelligence and courageous behavior. The two as a working pair could have been possible if there weren't so many inner issue within either of the young women. This reminded me of my approach on myself. I keep a personal journal to document my mundane life for the sake of my own mental health. I started getting so annoyed by my constant mood changes that I began to divide parts of my personality into two forms, viewing them as two different Queens with a few similarities but enough differences that they can't always stay compatiable. When my mood is brighter and my mind is feeling optimistic about the world I like to think of myself as the form of Queen Dasia. Whenever the inside of my mind has filled to the brim with negativity my mood is typically cynical met with a lot more of a sarcastic bite than the norm. Those days where I'm a little too confident and too unamused I think of myself as Queen Zanders. The reason I keep the title Queen present in both has nothing to do with excessive pride, instead it's there because no matter which mood I find myself in I am determined to get anything of priority done. I don't allow myself to slack off on the important things whether I'm feeling on top of the world and down under it so the title of Queen keeps me motivated. However, when I can balance out my emotions and rationalize my thoughts a beautiful harmony takes place which allows me to be simply Dasia Zanders, no added titles needed. Those are the days where the only emotion running through me is contentment. Those are the days where I can acknowledge both my beloved qualities as well as my less than lovely traits. Unlike Rosalia and November, my two opposing sides can coexist in me and even when they clash they both deserve proper credit for building my character as a person and a writer.