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Self Evaluate

Dasia Zanders

Eight years ago I picked up a pen and wrote carelessly in an old notebook. I didn't know it then that this would become the most important part of my life. Writing has never simply been a hobby to me. Writing is my way of coping, it's my safety zone, it's my comfort, and it's my soul. That's why it can be such a constant form of self evaluation. The reason the Cassadine trilogy is written in multiple perspectives was because at the time I was still exploring multiple sides of my personality. I didn't think I had a right to be writing from one solid perspective of thoughts and emotions when I don't have one solid personality trait or one solid emotion, I wouldn't be human if I did. It's because of my layered personality that I've written a range of characters from a proper good girl like Arbri to someone with a bit of a bad influence like Claire. I have to give a lot of thanks to my characters from the Cassadine trilogy for guiding me through a lot of different emotions and thoughts as a young teenager, it was through writing their stories that I found a way to express my own in different areas. Now that I am no longer a young teenager and I'm a young adult I'm still self evaluating. I believe that writers have this ridiculous freedom in what they get to do with a story or character. A writer can choose to lie through the whole story, tell the whole truth, or mix between the two. Sometimes you have to balance a truth and a lie to properly bring a piece of work together, but for me I want to be able to one day write about myself for not only my own self cleansing but for readers who may have similar feelings. I was fortunate enough to be able to attend a Halsey concert last night and it was a truly beautiful experience. I cried about four times during the concert during songs that hold a personal meaning to me and watching how there were so many different people gathered around to sing and dance I became emotional. I think it's easy to become emotionally attached to a song, but it's a completely different thing to be emotionally attached to an artist. What makes me love and admire Halsey is her honesty about her life experiences and her flaws, because it takes a lot of courage to openly talk about your flaws especially in this time period. I bring up the Halsey concert because I want to be that open with my readers. I want to be able to be honest about myself with anyone who takes the time to read and enjoy my writing. I think I've done a pretty decent job at being candor when people ask me questions, but it's the questions that don't get asked that I hope I'm brave enough to one day speak up about. I hint in a lot of my writing that there's some issues in the world that bother me and I think if anyone knows me well enough they could probably pick out sections from any of the three novels of the Cassadine trilogy and know that it's no longer just the character speaking, but Dasia speaking as well. Take the time to self evaluate once in a while, not too often because that can become harmful instead of helpful, but take the time to know yourself and set goals to improve yourself one step at a time because not only does your work become more passionate and genuine, but you as a person grow too.

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